People travel solo, people travel with friends and family. Going on a trip seems to almost always trigger some unhappiness among close ones if traveling together for the first time. Here are some tips on how to travel with others, without any hard feelings.
29 Oct 17
Deciding on the location
Not everyone likes to do the same thing – some people are adrenaline junkies, some are shopaholics, some just wanna chill and relax while others just wanna marvel at the sceneries.
Decide where you wanna go without discussing with the others. Sounds like the obvious no no thing to do but there will always be people thinking that they are the Sun and everyone should revolve around them.
Be it a family trip, romantic getaway or the long-awaited girly (or boyly?) trip, always make sure to decide on the place that everyone will get to enjoy themselves. YES, even those who say that they are okay with going anywhere.
Planning the trip
Planning a trip can go very differently for different people. Some really enjoy the process of planning (like me!) while some really hate the idea of planning and would rather go on a group tour. Make sure to compromise and decide on whether to go on self-planned trips or follow a group tour. Should you eventually decide on going on a self-planned trip:
Assume that the other person will plan the trip and just seat it out, expecting the others to do all the planning. There is usually gonna be someone who likes to plan but completely ignoring the process of planning might seem too irresponsible. DO NOT mention things like “we should have just joined a group tour”; “you were the one who wanted to go on a free & easy trip” etc. Planning might be enjoyable for one but when the real trip happens, any possible hiccups might render the planner helpless since the others weren’t in the loop of planning and doesn’t know what is in the itinerary. Everyone needs someone to rely on in times of difficulties!
Try to get involved in the planning! At least be familiar with the itinerary so that support and reminders can be given when needed. By discussing and planning together, one can at least know if the places and activities are to their liking. Besides, planning makes you feel like you are already there!
If someone really volunteers to be your tour guide for the trip, have the basic courtesy of showing concern on the progress of the plan (as and when you can) and whether any help is needed.
There is this Chinese saying that talking about money always hurt feelings （谈钱伤感情）. Going on trips together always mean someone has got to fork out the payment first, whether it’s prior to or during the trip itself.
Don’t wait for someone to ask you for the money. Nobody likes to ask money from others or be asked for money. Besides, paying for others in advance might also become a toll on one’s finances. So why not pay back the person at the soonest of convenience?
Set up a spreadsheet to clearly note all expenses and who made the payment in advance and who has made payment back to the person. During the trip, set up a common fund and use it for all shared expenses, replenishing it whenever needed. This way, finances become easily accountable and there are no long waits for each person to pay their share of the meal when the bill comes.
During the trip
So the day has finally arrived – the long-awaited trip! Adventure awaits and a shitload of possible arguments if everyone behaves like they are the Kings and Queens of the universe.
Oversleeping, missing the train, forgetting to book a tour – shit happens. Finger pointing is definitely not gonna help solve anything. Blaming others for an oversight is just gonna ensure that you break the relationship and make the rest of the trip insufferable. So just don’t.
Behaving like the King or Queen and expecting everyone to give in to you is only okay if you are really the King or Queen. Since most of us are mere commoners, we should probably just behave like one.
Getting into an unnecessary argument just ’cause you are not used to the other party’s habit or lifestyle is a very probable scenario but flaring up at any possible chance is going to make things very difficult for everyone.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade! When hiccups happen, help each other solve the problem. Everything (almost) can be solved if everyone stops screaming at each other and focus on solving the problem instead.
Being considerate and a team player will really make the trip more enjoyable. Granted, people are all different, having different lifestyles and expectations. When you agreed to go overseas with someone, it’s like signing a consent form to accommodate each other for the length of the trip. Besides, you just have to compromise and accommodate for the trip. After which, your travel companion(s) will (hopefully) be someone else’s problem.
Think about how many days are left for the trip (how awkward the rest of the trip is gonna be) and how much you have spent to start a conflict that might ruin the trip and relationship! Every time you wanna start a fight, bite your tongue and sleep on it. It’s just the hormones raging in your bloodstream. Once you have cooled down, you will probably realize how you have dodged the bullet of ruining a perfect getaway over a silly conflict. Even if you eventually did have a conflict, don’t give the silent treatment. Be a grown up and talk about it when the coast is clear. This will definitely make your relationship stronger and the trip more enjoyable!
There there, hopefully, this can help you travel with others and survive the trip! Or maybe traveling solo is a better option for you. Whichever your choice, enjoy the trip!
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